Self-Esteem isn’t bragging or seeing yourself as perfect; but more like quietly knowing that you're worth a lot and knowing that you're worthy of being loved and accepted.

Why is Self-Esteem Important?
Self-Esteem is a necessity and good to have for many things:
• It helps you to hold your head high and feel proud of yourself and what you can do
• It gives you the courage to try new things and the power to believe in yourself
• It lets you respect yourself, even when you make mistakes
• When you respect yourself, adults and other kids usually respect you, too.
• Is also the ticket to making good choices about your mind and body.

If you think you're important, you'll be less likely to follow the crowd if your friends are doing something dumb or dangerous.

With self-esteem you:
• Know that you're smart enough to make your own decisions
• Value your safety, your feelings, your health - your whole self!
• You know you are worth caring for and protecting.

How do kids get self-esteem?
Babies don't see themselves in a good or bad way. Instead, people around a baby help him or her develop self-esteem. By encouraging the baby as they grow up and by taking good care of a baby, helps him or her feel lovable and valuable.

As kids get older, they can have a bigger role in developing their self-esteem. Achievements are things kids can be proud of. So are having a good sense of humor or being a good friend.

A kid's family and other people in his or her life - like coaches, teammates, and classmates - also can boost his or her self-esteem. They’re presence in the kids life is a contribution. They can:
• Help a kid figure out how to do things or notice his or her good qualities.
• They can believe in the kid and encourage him or her to try again when something doesn't go right the first time.

It's all part of kids learning to see themselves in a positive way, to feel proud of what they've done, and to be confident that there's a lot more they can do as they grow up.

Reasons kids have low self-esteem:
• If parents do not encourage enough
• If there is a lot of yelling at home
• Teacher may make a kid feel dumb or perhaps there is a bully who says hurtful things
• If classes at school seem hard that they can't keep up or get the grades they'd hoped for, this can make a kid feel bad about themselves and hurt their self-esteem.

For some kids their self-esteem will change if the following occurs:
• If a kid moves and doesn't make friends right away at the new school, he or she might start to feel bad.
• A kid whose parents divorce also may find that this can affect self-esteem. He or she may feel unlovable or to blame for the divorce.
• A kid who feels too fat or too thin may start thinking that means he or she isn't good enough.
• Even going through the body changes of puberty - something that everybody does - can affect a kid's self-esteem.

More Tips:

Moving:
• Talk it out- If you have a million thoughts, don’t keep it in…let it out, talk to someone
• Check things out- Knowing what to expect will help; ask questions, take a tour, research
• Pack it up- Pack a special box of your favorite stuff…then help out where you can
• Preparing for Goodbye: Make goodbyes easier; grab an address book to get contact info
• Moving day: It’s ok to feel sad. When you get to the new place unpack your special box
• Getting adjusted: Give it some time, start up old hobbies, and k.i.t . with old friends

Shyness:
• What is shyness- when you feel scared when other people are around
• What causes it-some are born shy for others a new change; give some time to adjust
• Can shyness be serious-if it stops you from trying things, Yes. Talk to someone you trust

Divorce:
• What is divorce?
- Happens when mom and dad can’t live together anymore/ no longer want to be married
- They agree and sign legal papers that make them single
- These papers make them able to marry again if they want to
- Sometimes both parents want it and other times just one of the parents want the divorce
• Kids don’t cause it.
- There are many reasons why divorces happen: they grow apart, their love changes, fights
- Kids are not the cause: It’s not about your behavior or grades. It’s btw mom and dad
• Kids can’t fix it.
- Getting parents back together is not up to you
- Changing for the “best” will not bring mom and dad together
• I feel like my whole world fell apart.
- It’s normal to feel a lot of different emotions
- It will get better; things are just different right now and will come together again
- Meanwhile pick up hobbies to redirect emotions
- Never take you feeling out on anyone
- Tell someone how you feel; find someone that you are comfortable with telling
- Talking about it a lot is better then keeping it in
- If the divorce makes you sad all the time, you may feel better talking with a therapist
• Life after the divorce
- When one parent moves, usually the kid either spend s equal time with both parents
- Some kids end up staying wit h one parent more and visiting the other parent sometimes
• When to speak up
- Sometimes the kid becomes the messenger between the parents
- Other times a parent might ask a lot of questions about what the other parent is doing
- Talk with both parents about how you feel and what it is like to be in the middle
• The future
- It can be hard to deal with and adjust to your new life, but things will get better!

Bullies:
Bullying is a problem that affects many children. 3 out of 4 children say that have been bullied at a point in their childhood. Bullying can make kids feel very bad and the stress can start to negatively affect their lives. Why do bullies act this way?
•Some are looking for attention
• Some think it is a way to be popular and get what they want
• Most are trying to make themselves feel important, picking on someone else make them feel big and powerful
• Some bullies come from families where everyone is angry all the time, so they may think that being angry is a normal way to act
• Some have been bullied themselves
• Some know that what they are doing is wrong, and others do no really know how hurtful they are
• Bullies often pick on someone they think they can have power over; kids who get upset easily or do not know how to stick up for themselves
• Getting a big reaction out of someone can make bullies feel powerful

How to handle it:
• Preventing a run-in
- Don’t give the bully a chance: Avoid the bully; don’t go into hiding or skip class though
- Stand tall and brave: Even though you’re scared standing tall is enough to send a
message
- Feel good about you: Make changes and do what makes you feel good about your self
- Get a buddy: 2 are better then 1; make plans to walk with a buddy. And be one in return
• If the bully says/does something to you
-Ignore the bully: Bullies want big reactions, if you can ignore their threats
- Stand up for yourself: Pretend to be brave- say “NO” or “STOP”. Bullies tend to pick on people that do not stand up for themselves
- Don’t bully back: fighting back satisfies the bully; be a buddy and get help from an adult
- Don’t show your feelings: you can stop yourself from getting angry, distract yourself until you can get away
- Tell an adult: it is very important, this is the first step in stopping bullying; do not feel like you are tattling

Puberty:
Is the name for the time when your body begins to develop and change from kid to adult, like girls developing breasts and boys starting to look more like men. During puberty, your body will grow faster than at any other time in your life, except for when you were a baby.
• Time to change
- Puberty usually starts between the ages of 8-13 in girls and 10-15 in boys
- This explains why some of your schoolmates look like kids and others more like adults
- Depending on whether you are a girl or boy, certain hormones are released that work on different parts of your body
- Hormones change how the body works inside as well as outside; during puberty you might feel confused or have strong emotions
- It is normal to feel anxious about your body
- Talk with someone you trust, sometimes having someone listen to how you feel makes things better
It can be hard to deal with all the physical and emotional changes. Things may seem awkward or strange, you might look and feel different from you friends. Remember that everyone goes through this, it is not just you. At the beginning it might feel very strange, but in time it will not consume you.

Weight:
People come in all different shapes and sizes. The best weight for you is the one that is right for your individual boy type and size. It can be unhealthy to be too thin as equally as it can be unhealthy for you to be overweight. Not eating enough food keeps you body from getting the proper nutrition it needs just as eating too much of a high fat/calorie diet keeps you body from getting the proper nutrition it needs to be healthy and strong. A balanced healthy diet is the right way to go!
• Why do I look like this?
- Your genetic makeup and physical traits plays a big part, this gets passed down to you from your parents, and this affects your body size and weight
- Body type, example being “big boned” is a great example: this person has a large frame and usually weights more than small boned person
- This makes it possible for two kids with the same height to have different weights, and for both to be the right weight
- The way you live can change the way you look; your eating and exercise habits have a big influence on how you look also!
•What if I don’t think I am the right weight?
- First talk with mom and dad or someone you trust; they can talk to you about healthy eating and exercise
- Next look for ways to get to the right weight for you; small changes such as 10 min of exercise 3 times a day
- Make it exercising fun; play outside- hide and go seek, ride a bike, dance, help with yard work or if you can take a class-swim, sports, etc
- Watch what you eat; replace chips and candy with fruits and veggies that you like. But you can eat your favorite meals; just reduce the amount you eat at once
Everyone is different. You should not compare yourselves to others. Instead if you are worried about your weight, work on the right weight for YOU by making small and smart changes to your habits. Remember, it is not necessarily “good” to be thin and “bad” to be otherwise!

Self-Esteem boOost!
It's OK to have ups and downs in your feelings, but having low self-esteem isn't OK. Feeling like you're not important can make you sad and can keep you from trying new things. It can keep you from making friends or hurt how you do at school. Having strong self-esteem is also a very big part of growing up. As you get older and face tough decisions - especially under peer pressure - the more self-esteem you have, the better. It's important to know you're worth a lot.
If you think you might have low self-esteem, try talking to an adult you trust about it. He or she may be able to help you come up with some good ideas for building your self-esteem.

Tips:
In the meantime, here are a few things that you can try to increase your self-esteem:
• It can be anything from drawing or singing to playing a sport or telling a good joke.
• If you're having trouble with your list, ask your mom or dad to help you with it.
• Then add a few things to the list that you'd like to be good at. Your mom or dad can help you plan a way to work on those skills or talents.

Day 1: Ask your child daily at dinner or while driving to list three things they like about themselves.
• Don't just say, "I'm so great." Be specific about something good about yourself
-"I was a good friend to Jill today" or "I did better on that test than I thought I would."
• While you're at it, before you go to bed every night, list three things in your day that really made you happy.

Day 2: Encourage your child to be proud of his/her body, no matter what shape, size, or color it is.
• If you are worried about your weight or size, you can check with your doctor to make sure that things are OK.
• Remind yourself of things about your body that are cool, like, "My legs are strong and I can skate really well."

Day 3: Teach your child to accept and love the things about themselves they can't change, such as their shoe size.
• You should accept and love these things - such as skin color and shoe size - because they are part of you.

Day 4: Love and self-acceptance the main ingredients for strong self-esteem!
• When you do this, you take the power away from the voice inside that discourages you.
Even if you've got room for improvement (and who doesn't?), realizing that you're valuable and important helps your self-esteem to shine.

Day 5: Ask your child to make a list of the stuff they're good at like singing, sports or telling a good joke!

Teachers, please share your ideas!

PreK- grade 2:
http://classroom.kidshealth.org/prekto2/personal/growing/self_esteem.pdf

Grades 3-5:
http://classroom.kidshealth.org/3to5/personal/growing/self_esteem.pdf

Grades 6-8:
http://classroom.kidshealth.org/6to8/personal/growing/selfesteem.pdf

Parents, please share your ideas!

http://kidshealth.org/parent/positive/talk/self_esteem.html

http://kidshealth.org/parent/question/emotions/self_esteem.html

Check out BAM! It's an interactive Web site for your Body and Mind!